Well it has been a long time! (and this is a long post, sorry) It is crazy to think that my father passed away 2 months ago. It almost feels like an eternity. I was looking back in my journal and and entry before my father's passing starts out with something like "life is going well. It is hard but still good and I am happy." Little did I know that my father would pass away a week later, my sister would be hospitalized, and I would agree to take on one more child, who turns 3 in November.
We have had my niece living with us for 5 weeks now. It is hard to believe it has been 5 weeks. As I am getting to know her I am realizing a lot of what she grew up with, or what it appears she grew up with because I don't really know. She is quite the snacker. I learned quickly to clean up after we were done eating or she would constantly be in the kitchen snacking on anything within reach. And if there was nothing in reach she would scale the counter to find something. It has been quite the experience to teach her that we eat at meal time and that we have snacks at a given point in the day but that we stop eating between meals. And we don't go into the kitchen looking for more food. As she has come to understand this she has become a great eater at meal/snack time. She used to not eat vegetables but now eats broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, corn, and edamame. She is also more willing to try food on her plate because she is hungry. She is learning that she likes more things. Occasionally, we will eat something that she doesn't want to eat. She will claim that she doesn't like it but I have learned that if she REALLY doesn't like something she will gag on it and then I don't force it but usually she just means that she doesn't want to eat whatever it is and will complain that she doesn't like it (even if she does) but will still eat the food.
My niece is also EXTREMELY independent. I equate this to a life of having to fend for herself. If she is thirsty she pulls a full gallon of milk out of the fridge and tries to pour it. We have had several milk messes as a result. In the morning she helps herself to a bowl of cereal with milk as well. She is learning to wait for me to help her with breakfast, which is lovely since I don't want her climbing on the counters to get cereal, and she loves to eat pancakes, which we tend to eat on an almost daily basis around here.
I'm not sure she ever had to say "I'm sorry" before moving in with us and so actually, really did not know how to say the words I'm sorry. Upon a first and second infraction where I asked her to say I'm sorry to another she said something so I let it pass. But come the third time, after hitting someone, she refused to say sorry. I showed her how she could say it with her hands but she refused. I'm sad to say that she sat on a chair in the kitchen for around 2 hours because she didn't want to say sorry. It became quite the power struggle that I knew I could not let her win. Brylee and Gunnar and I were in the kitchen doing "school work." She would occasionally whine about being in the chair and not free but when I asked her if she wanted to say sorry she would say "NO!" so I let her sit. I eventually decided to make cookies to try and coax her out of her will power. She eventually wanted to see in the bowl. To which I replied that she needed to say sorry, She very quietly said "saucey." Since that time she has been a lot more ready and willing to apologize when she hurts someone else.
My children are also learning to deal with someone who hasn't had to share before. My niece has been spoiled by her mother and aunts. She has had everything she has ever wanted and never had to share it with someone else, except her little sister that recently turned 1, but even then her little sister didn't really move around a lot until just recently, as far as I know, so she was never the menace that younger siblings can be. Well coming to my home there are 5 other children to share things with. She often demands that she is first, or that someone else is not allowed to look at "her" book that is being read. This has been quite the battle around here as Gunnar is patient up to using his words ONCE. He will ask for something nice ONCE and if someone doesn't respond he gets frustrated and resorts to taking matters into his own hands. Combine this with my niece who doesn't/didn't say a lot and doesn't like to share and we have plenty of battles every day. Brylee has been AMAZING in this and I am so grateful for her every day! My niece came with at least 10 pairs of shoes and so which shoes does she want to wear when we go outside? Brylee's, of course. Brylee lets her. The next day she wants to wear a yellow dress hanging up in the closet. Who does it belong to you say? Brylee. After a couple of days, I had to let Brylee know that it was okay to tell Maelee, No. I appreciated her helping Maelee feel welcome and part of the family but if she was planning to wear the dress she could. Maelee certainly had plenty of clothes. Well later that day we went to play outside and Maelee want Brylee's shoes again. Unfortunately, Brylee couldn't find her other pair of shoes and wanted her flip flops. So I told her to grab a pair of Maelee's so that she could trade for them. Maelee refused to give the shoes back because she wanted them. It was a little difficult to get the shoes off and then she was livid when Brylee put them on. I told her that she could wear the pair that Brylee brought out to her. She refused so I told her she could go inside and put on any of her shoes that she chose. I then took her in side and her shoes. She wanted nothing to do with me so I went back outside to let her cool down. She then opened the door and threw her flip flops out the door screaming NO! After a few minutes she came out wearing Gunnar's shoes. Because I had told her that she needed to wear her shoes, and she had not asked Gunnar about wearing his shoes because he was outside, I told her that she needed to wear Maelee's shoes. She screamed at me again and went back in the house. After about 5 minutes I came in to check on her, because I didn't dare leave her alone inside for long, and I found her in her bedroom putting on a pair of her own shoes. It was a rough battle but now we don't have fights with her about wearing her own shoes and I am grateful. I knew she was going to challenge me as a parental/authority figure, and she certainly still does on many things but I'm thankful that this is not an issue anymore after that day.
My niece is also very smart. It was difficult to see at first because she doesn't/didn't speak a lot and because I was expecting her to be more like Gunnar. In reality, Gunnar is 5 months older and when you are young, 5 months makes a BIG difference. When she first came to live with us everything was always blue, no matter what! After a couple of days she began to recognize yellow, and then black. She is now able to recognize and name all of her colors! When she first came she counted two, two, two. She new how much 1 was but would call it two and the same with 3. I think she has a difficulty with saying 1 because she still shies away from saying 1. When playing Candyland she would say 2 blue but hold up 1 finger. Only once in several games did I get her to attempt to say 1. This is something that should improve with hearing it, I hope. She would do the same thing with 3, calling it 2 but holding up 3 fingers. I have gotten her to say 3 a lot more often. When she counts she now adds in the number 8 and 9 in no particular order, which is completely understandable when you haven't been around number before. My kids are around counting numbers a lot because we do it while in time-out. If you ask Maelee "What does the A say? she will quickly respond with aaah. She picked up on the letter so quickly and identifies whenever she sees it. This is something that Gunnar or any of my children at her age or a little older have ever done. Her fascination with the letters is diminishing as she is learning that there are so many more but she know A really well and loves to sing the song with the others letters we have learned and recognizes some of them as ones that she knows but doesn't always remember their names.
Maelee is now praying with the family and as any small child who is feeling the joy that comes from prayer is always asking to pray. When she first moved in she would refuse to join us for prayer, and then refused to fold her arms. Now she is often the first ready for prayer. She also enjoys "reading" the scriptures with us in the morning. We will say a couple of words and have her repeat them for her turn. I feel that this has helped her gain confidence in trying to say new words. Hopefully as she learns to move that tongue around more she will becomes easier to understand and she will be able to say more things. She now knows how to say her name and will say things like Maelee's shoes. She calls Brylee Barley, the same as a neighbor girl did at her age. She can say Hunter and attempts at Tucker but still has a hard time saying Gunnar or Connor. I'm trying to convince to learn how to say Connor because she always calls him the baby and that is one of my pet-peeves. I rarely call by "babies" baby and especially after they are a year old. Connor is 15 months old and I don't want him walking around thinking that he is a baby and can therefore do as he desires. (I know I am probably crazy) Anyway, lately as she has been calling him Baby I say "Lexie is not here, or Lexie could not do that. (Lexie is a neighbor's 4 month baby that I watch 3 days a week--Maelee refers to her as baby Lexis), after this she gets a little furrow in her brow and tries to say Connor. I had no idea that his name was so hard to say.
Anyway that is enough for now. I'm tired and my children all wake up early in the morning!
